Monday, April 28, 2014

monday musing: feeling lost in the world/ where I've been

I know I've taken a long vacation from this blog, and I could just blame it on stress, but that would be a major over-simplification. There has been a lot going on lately- that's true, but I've never been one to let an overwhelming amount of things to do prevent me from doing any of them. I always get things done, especially the things I like ( like blogging). I've stopped writing, I've stopped painting, I've stopped doing the things I love, and I didn't realize what a toll that's taken on my life until now. I've kind of lost the person I am, I guess- lost my place in the world. I guess you could say that i've just sort of been wandering lately. I drive to school every morning, I aimlessly sit through my classes and then try to complete my assignments when I get home. I go to sleep, and the cycle doesn't stop. Some might say I'm depressed, but I've been depressed before- this is not depression. I think I've lost my path. I know that sounds ridiculously cheesy, but I honestly believe that we all follow some sort of path in life. Yes, there are some forks in the road where we choose the left or right, but there is a path. Maybe we create some of that path, but I'm not creating anything. I've just wandered away from my path and completely forgot I was ever on one. I have not enjoyed my time off my path; I've just felt kind of empty. I guess my sage advice here is to try not to forget what it is you love. When you stop doing those things, the quality of your life may spiral so drastically downward, and what's even more alarming is that you may not even notice. I know we all feel these pressures to do certain things in our life, but don't let those pressures prevent you from living your life. After all, what's life if it's not a happy one? What's life if you don't make it your own? I'm not saying you shouldn't be productive and get things done... You should do those things, but don't make your life this stressful pursuit where happiness is never truly achieved. You need to be you because life is so empty if you lose that. This is your life, so don't let anyone else run it for you.

So, today I said, "fuck this slump," got my paint brushes out, and wrote this blog post: I'm back. 

And, to maybe help you spark your own inspiration, here's a list of 10 simply beautiful things in the world, just in case you've forgotten how beautiful the world really is.

1. natural light
2. succulents
3. music
4. the ocean
5. the smell after it rains
6. rain
7. peonies
8. those sunsets when the sky turns a little pink
9. deer
10. watermelon

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